The Very Hungry Preschooler

In the warmth of the spring two twins decided to grow.

One Sunday morning the warm sun came up and -pop- out of their basement came two preschool brothers. They were very hungry.

They started to look for some food.

On Monday, they ate through two peanut butter sandwiches each at lunch. But they were still hungry.

On Tuesday they ate through two more peanut butter sandwiches, two pieces of cheese, two apples, and 8 graham crackers.

On Wednesday they ate through six peanut butter buns (we were out of bread), two pieces of cheese, two donuts, and some fish.

On Thursday they ate through six peanut butter buns, four reduced-fat hot dogs, a serving of nachos, a quart of gatorade, and whatever it was I served them for dinner.

On Friday they ate through two peanut butter bagels and four reduced-fat hot dogs. Their mother put their shoes on and discovered it was suddenly like trying to shove a standard poodle into a teacup poodle's kennel. Mom tweaked the budget and announced it was "buy a new pair of shoes day."

But first, dinner. So the twins ate two pieces of pepperoni pizza, two egg rolls, a serving of potato leek soup, and a serving of chinese pork ribs.

They each bought one pair of new sneakers with the snazzy lights that may elicit epileptic seizures in other children.

Tonight they had a stomachache.

I'm so glad I bought their summer clothes too big last summer. I'm so glad I've been knitting next winter's sweaters WAY too big. They should just. about. fit.

[But you know, the real surprise came with measuring Max for new shoes. Shoes he was wearing: size 5. New shoes will need to be: size 7 1/2. Send me straight to the bad mommy couch. He couldn't find anything he liked tonight so I'll order him something from Zappos tomorrow, but we grabbed his foot measurements while we were there at Sears.]