Here's the problem with blogging. I want to be able to say, "Here is how things are. And here is where we are going." But I cannot bring myself to keep writing, "Things are sooo good for us on so many levels, except Chris still needs a job, and he's searching in a terrible climate. We have no definite leads, although good things keep happening, and we DO see the Lord's hand in all of this."
Because I need that to change. I need to be able to write, "Chris got a job," but that doesn't happen.
Today on Google News there was a headline that said, "Republicans Are Resistant to Obama’s Stimulus Plan" and I wanted to click on it in such a way that ALL the politicos who had a hand in where we are today--on both the red and blue sides--so that they could hear me. Heck, so I could grab them by the collective lapels and tell them to get off their high horses and work together because THIS RECESSION IS VERY REAL TO ME. IT HURTS.
Please don't reply in the comments about how some stimulus plan isn't the answer, we need to tighten our belts, blah, blah, blah. My belt is so tight I worry about losing my house. The one that HASN'T lost any value, that WASN'T cost inflated. I *do* still have some debt left but that's after paying down tons of it. I've been cutting corners and doing without since 2004. I don't think the "resistant" republicans can say that.
I did get into Penn State's Curriculum and Instruction Department for a summer start date. I'm supposed to be able to get my master's in math education. But I didn't get the assistantship. (They don't usually give them to Master's candidates, I knew that going in, but it looked for awhile like they might make an exception. They won't. Or can't. I don't know which.) So now I'm waiting to see what the aide package looks like, but I can already feel this opportunity slipping away. I can't pay all our bills as it is. Any attempt to cashflow the degree without Chris in a full-time job would be futile. I have applied for scholarships. Maybe there is an Ace in the hole I don't know about. I keep praying. But I know that others are in worse spots and that they are praying, too.
I am so grateful for all that we have. The kids are in great health, doing well in school, and the support from the church keeps us treading water. I don't know why it feels like the water is rougher this month than before. Maybe because one of my contracts has gone to half-time and I'm not as resiliant--maybe I'll spring back after more of the antibiotics (I have a respiratory infection--either walking pneumonia or early bronchitis. Treatment is the same.)
And that is all I have to say about that.