August 28, 2005
To: Mrs. Herself
This note is just a friendly reminder to our customers that the fall is approaching. We encourage you to start preparing now for the upcoming season by engaging in a few appropriate behaviors such as putting on your shoes and purchasing a few long-sleeved shirts.
September 5, 2005
To: Mrs. Herself
While we're grateful for your contribution to the economy, those shirts you bought for $4 each at Target were short sleeves. Wise consumers at this time are purchasing long-sleeved shirts.
P.S. Don't forget the shoes.
September 22, 2005
To: Mrs. Herself
Happy autumnal equinox! This note is just a friendly reminder to our customers that winter is approaching. We strongly encourage you to start preparing now for the upcoming season by looking for items such as snow boots, snow pants
P.S. We realize it was probably just an oversight, but it has come to our attention that not only have you failed to purchase a single long-sleeved shirt, but you still have no shoes on. Please, Mrs. Herself. If this matter remains unaddressed we may be forced to terminate your account with us. This would be most unfortunate.
September 26, 2005
To: Mrs. Herself
We were encouraged to see you pricing pallets of wood pellets today! That's a step in the right direction! However we feel we must remind you that they must actually be purchased to count as a true measure of preparation.
P.S. Shoes, please!!
September 29, 2005
To: Mrs. Herself
We must congratulate you on wearing shoes to walk the dog this morning. As the temperatures were below sixty at the time, we feel this was a wise decision! However, since the temperatures never rose out of the sixties today, we were puzzled to find you barefoot again from 10 a.m. on. Remember, in order to keep your account, you must occasionally actually show some measure of common sense. Please rectify the situation immediately.
P.S. It was far too cool for you to be outside this morning without a jacket. What were you thinking? Go back inside and put one on, missy!
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Okay, I'm in a wee bit of denial.
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2 comments:
Yes, Toto you do not live in California anymore. you'd think you remember all these things form the years of Minnisota winters ;) Very cute blog, by the way.
Still no baby here. Any ideas on how I can speed things up a bit? Probably not, since that wasn't really a problem you had. I'll email once it's here.
Sarah
Sarah, I've heard:
s e x
spicy foods (hey, it's an excuse to eat out!)
scary movies
long walks (yeah. THAT'S what you feel like doing!)
prayer (fervent)
cod liver oil (warning: this is also useful for ending constipation. Unless you're not constipated. In which case, you're up a creek.)
Otherwise I vote for lots of Animal Planet. Mindless, entertaining . . .
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