Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Will edit more tomorrow

I apologize in advance for the goofy symbols I know are about to appear.

Dy, I sat by the side of the football field tonight, madly typing away on material due to someone in the morning, and FROZE as a steady breeze blew and the sun sloooooooowly set. It was a big bummer and just WONDERFUL all at the same time. It feels so great to feel COLD.

Made me wish I had brought my knitting, but it was just as well. I got enough done that I actually ran out of things I could do (with the books I’d brought with me). I eyeballed the clock on the computer and tried to decide if I had enough time to go get a hot chocolate. I decided I did not.

Penn State called this week to touch base on Ben and Milo and preschool. Still no official start date, but they did say it would be this day or that day, one week apart. That is progress. Now I am waiting to hear from them for Max’s evaluation.

My goal tonight is to stay UP until all my work is done. Then I am taking two days off. That looks like this.

ONE WHOLE DAY I am not working.

ANOTHER WHOLE DAY I am not working.

I can only do this because I am not behind on the one project and because as of tomorrow morning, the other will be done. I need to find another project, but I am feeling a wee bit burnt out and truly in God’s hands here, really never more so. So I assume that when I am reenergized here in a bit that more work will come.

Honest to goodness ways God got all up in my business this week:

1. Sunday night I spilled water on my one-and-only-laptop. It went silverscreen and then black. It sat there corpse like. I ran and got a hair dryer and talked to my brother-the-computer-guy and let him say reassuring words like data recovery. I felt TOTALLY bummed about not being able to finish my work, but the massive anxiety attack I would normally have completely failed to show up. I finished taking the laptop as far apart as I dared (mostly just freed the keyboard and took out the widget slot to get more air circulating) set it up in front of a fan, and then I prayed. I started by apologizing for praying about computer equipment but explained that, as he knew, I do not have the means to get a new computer this, um, year. Then I asked for comfort, and a working computer in the morning, and the ability to fall asleep instead of sitting there chewing my nails to nubs and getting more and more anxious. And I felt, about as much as a person can get a memo from God, that I was to set the alarm for 5pm, knit a few rows to chill out, and go to bed and it would work just fine at 5am. So I did. And I felt fine. And I got up at 5am when the alarm went off and put all the screws back in the computer and pushed the power button. And it worked fine. I finished the last few bits of the first unit due that morning and made the deadline for it. I finished the rest of it yesterday. So God answers prayers about computers, too.

2. Well, the second is too much information for the blog, but lets just say that I love my church, I love this particular ward, I love the Mormon Mafia and the individuals who make it up, not because they have to but because they sincerely believe It is the right thing to do and they take good feelings and feel paid. I love the Sister who will talk to my husband at the playground like a real human being and say with enthusiasm when she sees me at church on Sunday that she wants to have us soon for dinner. I love the soft little hiss of stress relief that I can hear when the house gets quiet. It is there on my twins face who are coming to think of a weekday as a day that they go to the playground with Daddy (and words as things to be sounded out, but That is a blog for another day). It is there in Max’s laugh and the way he is feeling free to test some boundaries. We were led to these changes and HE WILL SEE US THROUGH THEM as long as we let Him. Even a wretch like me.

3. Every time I start worrying about money and work this week, I just feel a strong message that I am NOT to worry about this. Only good things are in store. Be patient. Things will be more comfortable by Christmas. I am tired. I am feeling the side effects of that, but things are looking up. A day with my brother and SIL, a weekend with the Aunts and Grandma, absolutely no reason I should be up past ten pm for the next few weeks. That is GOD at work in my life, I tell you what J


Writing and Living said...

Thank you so much for this. I really, really, REALLY, needed to read this tonight. You're right. He is in control.

Dy said...

"all up in my business" - ok, I literally laughed when I read this. I should not do that - it brings the small ones running, wanting to know what's so funny? But yes, that's a great way to phrase it. I'm glad you are in a place where you can look around and not only see those things, but feel them, as well.

And that breeze! Ooooooooo. *shudder* I cannot wait til it makes it down this way! Oh, start taking your knitting and a sweater to the games! WOOHOO! :-) Thank you for sharing that imagery. It will carry me through the next couple of weeks.


Anonymous said...

(((((Alaska)))))) What a wonderful post. Since it *is* your forever home, I'm so glad you found a good ward. Thank you so much for sharing a glimpse into your life with the rest of us. I'm always so encouraged when I read your (and Puppdaddy's) blog.

Laura aka Linko

MJ said...

You are so amazing. This was a great post. I'm glad the 'puter is up and running again - it's hard to pray for seemingly trivial things, and believe we are listened to. We are heard. The key is finding the message He is sending when our requests are met, and denied at the moment.

For all the truly amazing blessings that happen through prayer, we have a quirky one. I prayed once on computer ink - or lack of. When our black printer ink is running out, and the print goes from dark to light or only prints colors, well, it always seems to work when I need to print out something for for my Activity Days group (mulitple copies), Primary or another church activity:)

While we may not have all the time in the world - He has all the time of eternity to listen to our words of gratitude and needs.

I'm secretly wanting to head out to a cool evening football game myself, and bundle up in a sweater. We're still battling monsoon humidity and evening temps in the 90s. Enjoy it all for me!

LH said...

Hi Alaska
I think I am going to blog again (I said that before but I"m going to try again!)

how were your two days off?